C C Smale Family Lawyer

http://www.lonenutcomics.com/2010/05/dv-dog.html

While I think about it, have a look at what the mainstream family law bloggers find funny:

http://www.familylore.co.uk/2010/08/now-that-is-tasteful-tasty.html

Is it just me, or is the first one true to life and the second one is just sick?

I am only surprised how long it has taken for the Domestic Violence Industry to report its results from England’s World Cup campaign.

This is the first report I have come across. I am sure we will hear much more about this kind of thing for a while.

We are told there was a 127% increase in DV as between the day England played Slovenia (a midweek afternoon) and the day England played Germany (a Sunday). I expect there will be many more dubious headlines to come over the next few weeks.

My main objection to the Domestic Violence Industry is this: It tells women that their partner is responsible for their unhappiness and that they themselves are not are not. In the meantime women keep going back to abusive relationships.

I wrote a few days ago about the government’s proposed change to the law to give grandparents rights to see grandchildren. The reality is that it does no such thing – all it does is it removes the requirement to obtain the permission of the court before you can apply for court orders. As permission is always given to Grandparents any so-called “change” to the law is purely technical

Fathers rights organisations, the most high profile being Fathers4Justice, seek changes to the law which they see as making the law fairer.

One such proposed change is a “presumption of shared parenting”. I disagree. There already is such a presumption as the 1989 Children Act is pretty much gender neutral. A second proposed change is to make the “secret”  family courts more open to the media. I think this is reasonable in principal but who is going to report on anything other than the celebrity cases?

In considering “shared parenting”, who is this supposed to benefit? The most likely beneficiaries are those families who can choose to arrange their lifestyles that way. It will not benefit fathers whose work takes them away from home, nor their children.

Tweaking the law in these ways will not make any difference for just as long as women, and particularly- mothers, are indulged by a culture of entitlement and victimhood.

Allegations of violence, sexual abuse and deviant behaviour are routine in the family courts. By “routine” I mean they are made in most cases and they are made for tactical reasons. The most spurious allegations will be taken seriously and they take months or years to investigate.

Any advocate of fathers’, or grandparents’ rights needs to understand this – any tweaks in the law will be defeated until we understand the truth about domestic abuse and child abuse allegations. Your child’s mother only needs to make an allegation about you and your relationship with your child is stopped – shared parenting or not!

Here are a few observations – they are from personal observation but if anyone wants to comment, posting some statistics we could have a proper debate:

• Mothers kill their children more than fathers do.
• Mothers physically assault their children more than fathers do.
• Women are more abusive than men, mentally and physically.
• More women die at the hands of their partners than women do but it evens itself out if one takes into account women who get someone else to kill the male partner – if you take into account suicides there are more male than female fatalities from domestic abuse.
• Women who abuse men are incredibly unlikely to be arrested or convicted of any offence. Sentences for any such offences, including murder are likely to be harsher for men than for women.
• There is far more sympathy for female than male victims. I posted on here a few days ago in connection with the fact that in Scotland £3,500 was spent in supporting female victims of abuse for every £1 spent on supporting men.
• There is an entitlement / victimhood culture which is sold to women. “No blame”. “You are not responsible”. Even womens’ rights organisations who proclaim this know it is a lie and in private they will tell you this. This is why women keep going back to abusive men.

Why has this man had so many marriage proposals?

My challenge here is to fathers’ rights organisations to acknowledge the real issues and stop trying to tweak the law. If this gets one of you to stop disrupting the traffic and take off your Spiderman outfit – let me know.

I am sceptical about the ever expanding definition of “domestic violence”. Here is Women’s Aid’s definition.

Oddly enough, “sulking” is included in the definition of violence according to Women’s Aid. “Lying to you” is also included in the definition, as is “witholding information from you”.

It becomes increasingly weird. “Having other relationships” is included in the definition of domestic violence.

It seems to me that the whole point depends on the context. Anyone who engages in another relationship cannot, as far as I can see it, complain if their partner checks up on them but then “checking up on you” is included in the definition of domestic violence, according to Women’s Aid.

I was in one of my local courts with a male client recently. He was accompanied by his sister. The sister pointed out to me that she was bewildered by the posters everywhere portraying only women as victims of abuse.

My client and his sister both have a fair idea, before he goes into court, of what he will be up against.

(This is based on a comment earlier today here. )

Women are as abusive as men. “Being a woman” does not mean “being a victim”.

Whether you are a woman or a man, your partner is not responsible for your unhappiness. You are.  So do something about it.

If you keep going back to abusive relationships you will keep on being abused.

Every solicitor, barrister, women’s right’s advocate and so-called “friend” knows this but they will never tell you the truth.